Black Ops 2 Zombies sucks.

This article's for any anyone who held out to see the reviews before buying the game. If you agree with this article, leave a comment acknowledging it. It generates Google priority which means this gets more publicity. Hell, maybe Treyarch'll read this shit... they need to get their heads out their asses. Seriously.

Thankfully, I'm not the one who bought BO2; my friend did, and I tried to tell the guy not to do it, but he'd already pre-ordered and we'd spent the last four hours on BO1's Kino Der Toten before grabbing it from GameStop and loading it up.

We love CoD Zombies. We still play the old WaW maps sometimes, seeing how far we've gone from Nacht Der Untoten to Der Riese. That, and maybe Kino Der Toten, were the last worthwhile maps in the opinions of everyone in our Zombie clique.

That won't be changing with BO2.

They did a few things right with Zombies this time. You can start on certain waves from 1 to 20, set the difficulty, toggle Hellhounds, and there's three different game modes: Survival, Grief and Tranzit. Unfortunately... these don't redeem what went wrong.

I'd provide more meaningful pictures in this article, if Zombies actually offered anything new.

BO2's Zombies hasn't evolved. At all. We're looking at new guns, of course, but we should've been excited by the new Perks. If it's any indication, we lost complete interest in Zombies before we ever figured out what they did. 30 minutes after booting the game we'd already opened and explored everything all three maps had to offer. It's funny, because our average game on Nacht Der Untoten lasts about that long. In one game of what used to be the simplest Zombie map, we dumbfucked around on three maps we'd never played before looking desperately for doors, switches or special in-game triggers to open the map up. That's less 'stuff' to do than on Nacht Der Untoten alone - which didn't even have Perks or Pack-a-Punch, for fuck's sake. We didn't even 'finish' the matches - either we let them kill us, or outright quit. The fucking maps are micro-size. We checked all the doors - three times each - and tried various things like progressing to a certain wave, passing a Hellhounds round, PaP'ing a gun, and rolling the Random Box enough times to see if it teleported to an unexplored section of the map. So far the most places the box can arrive at in the largest available map is... three, if I remember. One of the maps had literally ONE door you opened, and that was it, you were done exploring. There must not've been more than five windows the zombies could enter the map through.

The worst part is, these maps have all these potential areas to allow a player to go. There are so many unused doors throughout two of the maps, and yet not more than one or two can be opened. Every one of you that ended up here from Googling "black ops 2 zombies sucks" as a result of your own disgust of the game mode must surely have run up to many of these doors thinking, "This has to open! There's no way the map's this small."

But wait, what's this? Holy shit, they added a new...! No... wait, nevermind. It's the same Zombies, just different weapons befitting the game. That's it. No Killstreaks. No vehicles. No huge, open maps with upgradeable barricades, no new contraptions, no new zombie types (besides these flaming zombies which explode like the Hellhounds), no new function to upgrading weapons, nor multi-upgradability, nor Mule Kick, even.

They brought back the Ray Gun and Monkey Bombs, but the rest of the guns you can get are just... eh. Nothing special that makes you really want to play, the way the Wunderwaffe, Flamethrower, Thundergun, Winter's Howl, Scavenger, and V-R11 did. BO2's selections might as well be re-skins of the weapons available on BO1, minus a few. I felt like the actual number you could get was substantially smaller than previous games. Sniper rifles and the RPG are as useless as always. You'd think they'd've made them special somehow, for once...

The one weapon I PaP'd was the full-auto shotgun. The upgraded firing effects for guns is the same as always, except I didn't see any changes to the gun's design, like the engravings. Perhaps they were discrete in the map's darkness, but they were always obvious in BO1 and WaW.

There's a new announcer for pickup bonuses, with an annoying voice. But I can deal with it. It's annoying though, because it's hard to hear what he's saying, but the messages that used to appear on-screen to indicate what pickup you grabbed aren't present anymore. The Tranzit character you play as sounds like a budget voice actor with cheesy lines, and doesn't inspire the same humorous confidence Dempsey and his crew used to. Speaking of which, where'd Dempsey, Nikolai and the rest go?

Some of these maps - or maybe all four, I don't remember - have flames and molten terrain everywhere which torch your character if you walk over them. It looks like Hell broke open in this particular part of town - or is it a house? The maps are so small, I can't tell. All I know is, while I enjoy the prolific black mixed with Hellish flames giving a demonic aura to the maps, the only Hell I see is the hopes Treyarch knew we'd have for BO2's Zombies, and what they gave us as a result.

I'm not liking these maps. Is there something I missed? Tranzit mode? To be equitable, we didn't get too deep into that, so I can't provide a fair verdict there, but first impressions watching YouTube videos has me thinking it's a slightly less dull version of playing the individual maps, what with hopping on and off the bus to kill zombies while rolling through the four maps the game offers, the fourth one seeming to be even smaller than the other three if I recall. If there were any more beyond that, the video didn't last long enough to show it.

(Update 11-22-12: I was finally given a chance to give Tranzit an in-depth look. It's indeed larger than simply three maps, as some comments have pointed out, and there are some interesting mechanics to the gameplay which are similar to L4D and Dead Rising, such as Jockey zombies and places you can store weapons, as well as build new items from what you find while exploring. I also found the old Nacht Der Untoten map. That said, it began to bore after awhile due to the gameplay's revolution around the bus, which, if you were left behind, would take some ten minutes to complete its route coming back to you. In some cases it was difficult to find a way on the bus, depending on where you were when the bus stopped. It's an interesting concept, but needs work. A lot of it.)

Let's honestly think about this; what did BO1's Zombies do that left a mark on Zombies as a whole? Der Riese was the last true step up when you consider everything that didn't happen in BO1. Sure, a new perk here and there - but did they stay? Do we still have the PhD Flopper in BO2? No, I'm afraid not. Perks as a whole are nothing new; I hoped for a new gameplay element like finding survivors, but so far... (*throws hands up*)... it's the same damn thing, just smaller maps! The exact opposite of what I'm sure we all wanted! What the fuck was Treyarch thinking?

Since someone's bound to say it, I'll propose some things I'm confident Treyarch should've been able to add which would've turned this whole thing 180 for me. They made leaps from one map to the next in WaW; I see no reason these features can't become available two-by-two in future maps if they actually, you know, tried for once.

                                                                                                                                        

1. Give the upgraded guns special effects. It'd be cool if, you know, the RPG could spray nukes like shotgun pellets, to make it worth the 5,000 points plus the 950 for getting it out of the box. Same goes for any other weapon that merely gets a damage boost, faster reload, etc.

2. Multi-upgradability. Upgrade once, then once again after that for 10,000 points - and again after, if Treyarch has the time/budget and drive to bother with it. Something to make you really think twice about sticking to the gun you have for levels 25+, because right now (and as it's always been) you get to the mid-20's and the best upgrades you can get start to seem pretty weak. The second upgrade could inspire a differently-colored engraving and some new additional effects to whatever the gun picked up with the first upgrade. Ray Gun could, say, fire yellow fluorescent bolts instead, and RPG/SMAW/LAW rockets become tracking missiles with huge explosions throwing zombies across the room, dead or alive.

3. 7,500 points gets you a Bandolier off the wall to hold more ammo between Max Ammos. Make tactical grenades and Claymores/Betties available off the walls as well, of course. And tactical grenades. And also Claymores. And... I mentioned this already, didn't I?

4. Killstreaks! For fuck's sake, why haven't they made this feature available? I can't be the first one to mention this. 500 for a UAV/scanner radar, 1,000 for an airstrike, 1,500 for a support chopper, 2,000 for a gunship or AC-130 deal (but leaves your body vulnerable), 2,000 for a Sentry Gun which lasts until destroyed (and an unlimited number available to the player), 2,500 for a whole kennel of dogs to kill and distract the zombies, 3,000 for a riot shield squad of five to be dropped off which survive until killed, 7,500 for a deployable tank which takes a shit ton of damage before being destroyed, like the ones on WaW. Treyarch, get your fucking game face on, what is this.

5. Upgradable barricades. Past a certain level, most players I know don't bother repairing barricades anymore. Too slow, doesn't hold off the zombies long enough, and the point rewards become substantially less-useful as you gain waves. Let's say level 1's the classic wood panels rewarding 10 points per repair and taking one good pull to rip off. Level 2 doubles the number of boards for 1,500 points. Level 3 upgrades all those boards to scrap metal, rewarding 20 points per repair, taking two pulls to rip off a 'board', and costing 2,000 to upgrade. Level 4 gives iron boards rewarding 30 per repair and taking three pulls to rip off, costing 5,000. Level 5 grants steel, level 6 gives titanium, and you make up the numeric figures from there. Carpenter can also reward, say, 100 more points with each level. That's 800 points if you go with my six-level system. Between that and repair rewards, I'd say that's more than enough incentive to buy barricade upgrades.

6. Higher-level melee weapons. You start with the Bowie Knife for 3,000, that gets you by until round 15, so it's time to buy a sickle. That sickle gets you another 10 waves; now it's time to buy a scythe. 10 waves later, you get something like Cloud's Buster Sword, or maybe a futuristic energy sword deal to compliment BO2's futuristic placement. I'll draw the line there, but more's always better.

7. Find survivors locked in random areas of the map. Never know which closet or room you'll open with a survivor behind it. Depending on the wave you find them, he/she may start with a Colt, MP5, AK47 or RPK. Survivors follow you around and won't stray too far; naturally you can't expect them to live long but if you guard them well they can last quite a while. You could outfit them with certain guns by trading your current gun with the one they have. Any points they make is split among all participating players... something like that. If you wanted to save a crawler and didn't want survivor Jeremy Whatever-his-fucking-name-is to kill it, there should be a control for that.

8. New zombies. How about cumbersome, powerful, tough Juggernaut zombies? Kill one of these and get 100 points multiplied by the wave you killed it on, i.e., 3,000 on wave 30, on top of whatever bank you made shooting it, which increases substantially wave-by-wave. This makes the expensive upgrades more reasonably-affordable.

9. A shit ton of guns. Just bring back everything from WaW and BO1, including those that for whatever reason didn't make the cut for Zombies. Treyarch still has the files for the guns and everything, right? Okay, they're the champions of copy-and-paste, so how about using that for something their clientele wouldn't mind? I sure as hell wouldn't mind finding a motherfucking old-fashioned MG42 in the random box, and a sexy PPSh-41, and maybe a DG2 which gets an erection up to DG4 with my multi-upgradability suggestion, all three bound together with Mule Kick's return. Samantha, I love you more than this demonic Russian fuck that doesn't give us shit from the random box, and narrating the pickups and box teleport. Swear to Christ, if there's anything Treyarch actually does that isn't copy-and-paste, it's something they want to fuck up very bad. I mean, there's just no excuse...

10. More perks - and all of them together, not just an extra one or two. I want the PhD Flopper back. I want some infinite-sprint shit, and I want something that lets me equip more than eight perks, 'cause with what I'm after, we're all gonna need it.

11. Purchasing super-weapons off the walls in special, secret, difficult and high-level areas of the map. Wanna secure the Ray Gun with a guarantee Samantha can't even offer? Spend over 7,000 points getting to some corner of the map (after you've spent the other 4,000 going the route to turn the power on), run through this one door that needs the power to be opened for 2,500, and bam, Ray Gun on the wall for 7,000. Want an MG42? Go open up another corner of the map, take this elevator to the fourth floor (no other way up there), take the zipline to a special area of the third floor, flip a switch, BAM, here's a room with the MG42 for 5,000. Want the DG2? Well I'm not gonna list the steps, but you're gonna need a little Bill Gates on your side to purchase that shit. With monthly payments. So I mean... Treyarch... fuckin'... get creative, men. Really.

12. Use the annoying fiery cracks and molten terrain to some creative effect, perhaps as a barrier between two halves of a map. Maybe you need Juggernog, or some other type of protection to survive a long walk through this molten terrain to reach a new area of the map. Without it, the distance would kill you. Simple, fun gameplay obstacle. Perhaps it could be some type of flame-retardant Perks-a-Cola drink, or suit you buy off a wall, which also protects from the explosions caused by killing immolating Hellhounds and zombies. If you actually added some new zombies that spewed flames as a means of attack, this could also protect from that. I'm just throwing ideas out there... I mean, it's not hard to program something this simple, I'm sure. Or are you that incompetent, Treyarch?

13. A mind-blowingly huge Zombie map. Just one. Just a single one of these. And the good thing about a map this large is, you can easily tuck everything I listed above right into it. I'll gladly drop $30 on a map with all that.

14. Map variety. We like variegated flowery bushes with colorful colors of colored flowers of all colors. After all these years, flipping between Kino Der Toten and Der Riese gets a little old, so whatever you do from here on out, make sure there's at least some variety to your maps, Trey. I mean, if you at least don't bother with idea #13, this is the alternative. Really, contemplate that next time you're on the shitter coming up with Black Ops 3.

                                                                                                                                        

I have a hard time seeing your average player modding zombie maps to include things I've listed above, yet a professional studio like Treyarch somehow can't make something on-par with this, instead opting to make three maps which, when combined, is still smaller than the average single map. I understand the need to include a Multiplayer and Campaign, but after seeing what DICE was capable of with Battlefield, I feel like saying, "No excuses."

I read what was apparently an interview with a Treyarch rep about the Zombies mode. The focus they had in mind with BO2's Zombies was skill, as was implied. Is that why the maps are so small? Could it be that game companies these days are becoming too concerned with the skill aspect and forgetting these are just games? Why aren't they fun anymore?

Maybe it's just me, ready to find a new hobby.

What's the point of just living to reproduce?

I admit to using this pic only because his hurr-durr smilin' little face made me giggle. (*wrist-flick*)

This is something I see way too often: graduate high school, attend college, marry, have a child, maybe two. That's it. Their life purpose is now centered on raising a child from behind a cluttered desk 50+ hours a week until the day you retire.

And so many people are doing this. What the fuck's the point, though? How do we get anywhere in the world if all we're doing is being raised by our own parents to become a parent ourselves and pass all our parents' hopes on us to the next generation instead - which is as likely to follow by parental example and repeat what you did? It's just passing the baton on and on, hoping the next person will finally do something productive with it, but they just become another number in an equation full of all these reproducing junk values without any worthwhile direction or purpose - and they just multiply and consume. It's just... survive, procreate, die. Over and over.

It just seems irresponsible to use a broken condom (or none at all) as an excuse to scapegoat your potential on your child instead, priding your life purpose on raising the little one, when realistically all you've done is contribute to the overpopulation. Many such people, I know, demand respect for it - often at the ripe, reproductive, conceited age of 16 - and treat it like a genuine purpose to dedicate themselves to, but would defend themselves by citing our life purpose to survive and procreate justifies it, and meanwhile makes any 'better' purpose just as meaningless. But to concede this much is, just the same, surrendering yourself to an admission deep down that your own parenthood also lacks any meaning. Which then begs to ask, why take the hard way out?

Don't beings of meaning and purpose have anything more meaningful and purposeful to pursue? Come to think of it, why hold onto a life we know we'll inevitably lose anyway? Why contribute to a world and a species which'll eventually meet its irrevocable obliteration?

This excessive centrism on begetting kids and forgetting all else is kinda like breaking down a dollar bill into four quarters, then ten dimes, twenty nickels and finally 100 pennies before deciding to spend it on that 89c pack of gum. You could've just paid with the bill. You could've done it yourself. Even raising a child, you could've done it.

Consuming, overpopulating, spreading disease... Who wants to live like that? I guess nobody cares. This is America, after all. Just shut up and go back to your 'reality' TV. Your mainstream media. Your smartphones, your games. Your alcoholism, weed, and drug addictions.

We wouldn't want to think about what it all means, would we.

Evolution debunked?

I read this article and thought it made a great deal of sense, at least where I could follow what the editor was saying. I'm not going to jump to any conclusions, but I've always been of the conviction evolution never made complete sense. This guy states some of the reasons I felt supported this feeling, and gave more - a whole lot more.

Here's the article...

http://www.newgeology.us/presentation32.html

The guy doesn't seem to be religious, but does believe in a God; however, he doesn't use God anywhere in his explanation, rather appearing to believe as a result of disproving evolution. This is reportedly a scientific debunking of a scientific theory.

He also has a PDF you can download, top-left on the page. I'd download it before a rampant scientific organization tears the page down.

Leave comments on your thoughts.

Energy drinks: not as bad for you as people say.

This was my favorite Amp. But Amp sucks now, ever since they changed over the product line...

Every article fighting energy drinks that I read, I stop reading. And then I laugh. I put my Milestone X2 down on the table, and laugh. "What is this shit? These aren't reasons."

The 'reasons' - wait, let's find a better word... excuses, are the same among most articles, and the exceptions are just as ridiculous still. The editors of these articles cross me as an older generation that never adapted to energy drinks replacing coffee in the newer generation, and advise against them because "Too much sugar," and "Too much caffeine," and "People die from drinking those, you know!" I don't think any of them are substantiated any further than any argument against coffee and soda, because honestly, an energy drink's really just a mixture of the two with a little less sugar and caffeine, and some natural herbs added as additional stimulants. All it does is beg a little more responsibility.

Soda contains roughly the same amount of sugar ounce-for-ounce as an energy drink, sometimes more, and an 8oz cup of coffee has about 100mg on average, while the same amount as an energy drink has around 80mg on average. Yet people argue the caffeine content of energy drinks is 'dangerously high' and thus should be avoided at all costs. This is used to substantiate claims these drinks are responsible for young adults experiencing heart failure - well, after drinking four in a three-hour span, or several throughout a day. Because, who the fuck drinks that many in three hours, anyway?

Yes, energy drinks have additional stimulants, and they're more powerful than coffee because of it; you don't treat them like coffee, because they're not, hence the price of a can of it versus a cup of arabica dark roast. There's a reason these drinks are targeted at adults; treat them responsibly like adults and you won't suffer cardiac arrest. ("Drink responsibly," eh.) Just one Rockstar - one - taken in time-moderated sips will carry you an entire day without the stereotypical synaptic what-the-fucks they're commonly portrayed to catalyze. This actually justifies the sugar and caffeine content, since most people drink multiple sodas or cups of coffee in a day for their kick, while a single energy drink alone is enough.

A little Google research turned up many of the common herbs and stimulants used in energy drinks, like taurine, ginseng and milk thistle, are harmless to the body taken in moderated doses (and in fact, beneficial even,) and in excess the worst they may cause is discomfort and maybe a kidney infection if you really overdo it - at which point, the caffeine would've killed you anyway, if Rockstar's your method of overdose. Speaking of which, another reason given in another article stated something I thought was profoundly innovative: they can kill you if they aren't consumed in moderation! People've died from drinking too much water (upsets electrolytes,) so let's not drink any at all, right?

Meanwhile, as energy drinks are criticized like illicit drugs, the authors of these articles are typing them up while downing cups of pesticide- and toxin-laced coffee, six-pack sodas with zero nutritional benefit, cartons of cancer-thins, and maybe cheap 2/3rds beers later in the evening. Don't you know alcohol kills? Put the fucking Heineken down, it tastes like alpaca urine anyway, and don't ask how I'd know.

Let's face it: no matter how well-groomed your body is, it's gonna die one day, for all of us.

If you want to know of an energy formula that's 'bad' for you, enter 5-Hour Energy, and each of its brand-name mimics in its variegated flowery bush. I've had heart issues with those, and my dad feels like he's having an OBE after downing one. So stay away from them.

So I'd be interested to know, what energy drinks do you all drink, how often, what brand and flavor, and with what effects?

It's cool to joke about the Holocaust, but not 9/11?

I'm not offended by jokes, because that's what they are - jokes. Jokes aren't meant to be taken seriously. If you're taking them with a 525mg dose of Buttmad, you're mixing your meds wrong.

But really, this could be after all what started the Holocaust - someone cracked a joke about Jews and Hitler thought his bud was being serious. Of course, we all joke about the Lolocaust now, but man... you bring up 9/11 and every obese mid-thirties Christian single mom of three-and-a-half will definitely find a means, a way, and a fate to push out a pound-cake baby of red, white and blue shit. They'll need a jackhammer to C-section them, that's how thick they are. (Pun pun punnnnn...)

"How DARE you!1 1! >:'( FUCK YOU, I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELLLLLLLLLLL!..."... Moves onto another picture in their News Feed, what's this, a Holocaust joke? "lololol im snding ths 2 al1 mai frndz :)"

Let's be realistic. Ten million humans - you know, people with feelings and aspirations, and loved ones, like you and me - brutally annihilated in the Holocaust, infants having been flung into infernos and innocents subjected to excruciating experiments, most of all Nova6 gassing - a world-shattering event spanning years of suffering... versus a few thousand in a few hours on 9/11, most dying mercifully. Yet, Americans can laugh at the former, but not the latter, because it's just plane wrong.

Who's morally upright now?

The only grasp we Americans have of the Holocaust is how the textbooks tell it, and it wasn't even on our soil, let alone 70 years ago. Hell, people speculate it never even happened. But if you went to Germany and burned a Jew with a Holocaust joke, I'm placing wagers right now that a few of them might be fuhrious, Anne Frankly they won't tolerate it. Can you blame them?

Juuuuuust something to think about.

Withholding contraceptives from kids advised against pregnancy...

I thought it was ironic when I realized this, how true it is, that parents teach kids to use contraceptives, then confiscate them or bar access to them because they 'promote sex' in a young audience that's hopelessly discouraged from having it, which begs to ask why parents are removing their own child from their own recommendation. Parents should know the efforts are fruitless: when we want sex, we'll have it, and if we're barred from contraceptive merchandise, we'll resort to our own: pull-out, which has been a successful method... of becoming parents, for five of my friends.

Granted, kids will have sex behind their parents' backs, and should also be expected to procure contraceptives in similar fashion, often successfully so if they're out with friends at a convenience store. But that's not the point here.

Point is, if you want to prevent teenage pregnancy, you're doing it wrong. I don't need to mention what we should do: use your own head and find something that works for your particular child. But whatever you do, contraceptives shouldn't be contraband.

If homosexuality's a sin, then...

Of all the things in the world homophobic Christians could be actively working to prevent or reverse, like war, poverty, disease, or corruption, the center-focus of their concerns is usually same-sex relationships - because that kills so many more people, creates so much more suffering, and, fuck it - might destroy the world, too. Don't worry about hydrogen nukes and all that shit - homosexuality's the MOAB of all temporal and ethereal existence. And you just gotta stand back and gape... in complete awe... at the sight of the 'shroom cloud of two men's kiss ebol-izing, corroding and liquefying solid, righteous order into nebulous, abysmal entropy.

When I Googled 'cloud' and 'strife', I wasn't looking for this...

It's a 'shroom cloud, after all, because this variety of Christian must be tripping on acid. Fortunately, I think the only cloud to be worried about right now is the one in their minds.

Meanwhile, Christian science (oxymoron?) apparently made a breakthrough discovery: homosexuality's actually a choice and obesity's really genetic! Well, shit. So obese Christians stuff their faces and tell themselves Jesus didn't want that food to go to someone who's dying without it. "They didn't get the food because- nom, nom - they're sinners." Well shit, why didn't I think of that? Word, right on, H. Christ. Respect, me bredah. (As I was saying about 'shroom clouds...)

I think it'd be pretty awesome to weed out (pun) how they concluded Elvis was the Antichrist back in my father's day, but no, wait - then Judas Priest, he's the-... waaaiit, shit, shit, now it's Marilyn Manson... no... no, fuck me, it's actually Eminem!... God screwed up, sorry. But it was intentional, a Perfect Mistake without mistakes... so don't yeh judge. Only thou... thy... thus... fuck it, whatever - themsomes Lord may judge, you're not allowed to do that, silly.

In the meantime, let's talk about some hard, proven facts Creationist science has uncovered over the past generation, starting with this olde-timer: "Damn blacks are blacks because they choose to be!" < Christianity 60 years ago. Since then, God apparently decided He made another Perfect Mistake, so now He's cool with blacks. Unfortunately, gays are about four decades behind that step up, when they too finally can be born gay not as a choice, but as a forced genetic characteristic - and what a relief that will be. Until then, Creationist science has proven it is a choice. And don't you dare question us, lest ye burn eternal.

Fuck it.

I wonder; what are homophobic Christians going to do if they go to Hell and discover they were the wrong ones? "Well, shit."

Some Christians think being gay is outright unforgivable by any means. I ask them, what are gays supposed to do when they discover they're nonredeemable? "Well, shit. Better prepare for an eternity in Hell, guys." And they should be happy, right? Because it's all part of... God's Perfect Plan. People don't die for reasons, they die for really good excuses! And you learn the trade real quick: they all go to Hell. Makes God's paperwork easier. "He died b-because... uhm... he must've been a closet homosexual, or something. Whatever, he's probably going to Hell because of it."

Here's the one that gets me best... You see, God's alright with Christians murdering in the name of God, and God's alright with heterosexuals committing an unending stream of extremely violent and emotionally-virulent crimes over the course of a lifetime with a plea to Jesus for redemption in their dying breath... "Oh, it's alright, we forgive you, man. Come on up to Heaven!" ...But we must all remember, a Good-Samaritan gay Christian will always be condemned. Soon I'll get a comment on this post saying, "You can't be Christian if you're gay!" Well, shit. I thought you could be. But if gays can't be Christian, I can be sure of one thing - faggots can, and you're the poster-child for it. "Yes we can (persecute whoever we want because our version of the Bible says it's alright!)"

One thing these Christians forget... is the purpose of punishment. But I guess that doesn't matter when Perfect God realizes he was Perfectly Wrong and arbitrarily changes the point of punishment into something that fits His Perfect Plan perfectly. "Oh, you mean we don't punish people to teach them right from wrong? Well, shit."

I can see Jesus meeting a gay at the pearly gates: "Look man, you're a cool guy and all, and a great example of a good human being, assisting the unfortunate and helping orphanages and all... but we can't allow a spirit who inhabited a body predisposed to homosexual genetic coding. I'm sorry, man. You're being sent off to the flames for eternity and that's all I can say. But remember... God does it because HE LOVES YOU."

HE LOVES YOU.

...Well, shit. I'll keep that in mind and burn my girlfriend alive because... I love her. Eh? "Oh, you're hetero? Damn, I thought you were gay all this time. You know you're always welcome in Heaven if you repent now..." No thanks, I'd rather burn in Hell than revel in a Heaven with a God so cruel as yours. But, you know, thanks for the invitation. (I hate getting those things in the mail.)

After all, if homosexuality's sinful, so are infants born with terminal congenital diseases. We should leave the poor things to die an excruciating death and that agony will continue with an eternity in Hell. Google 'depleted uranium' (because I'm not putting those kinds of pictures on here) - those babies are destined for the flames. That's fair, isn't it?

See? Even '60s Spiderman in his blue spidey-tighties agrees it all 'makes sense'.

Zero = Infinity.

An interesting realization I made recently.

Zero - the placeholder word and number for the idea of nothing - is the inverse of infinity, but also the same.

No matter how large you make a number, it isn't infinity... No matter how small you make a number, it isn't zero. How many digits to the right of the decimal do you need before that '1' no longer bars the value from 'zero'?... That's right, you can't quantify it. It goes on forever. Infinitely. Just as you can go on infinitely to the left of the decimal - and never reach 'infinity'. Zero and infinity are just placeholders for an infinite number of digits to the right and left of the decimal, respectively.

While you wrap your head around that, here's a cool find: ∞ is just a twisted 0. See that? Take the 0, and twist the side - you get ∞.

Since zero and infinity are the same concept as inverse concepts, this means zero and infinity together can be described as a circle - which is what zero and infinity are signified with, just elongated and twisted, respectively. A circle is also infinite, never breaking at any point. Infinity and zero start at the same point on one end and meet at the same point on the opposite side - inverse, but the same, simply describing a different polarity.

Everything works on a duality; 0 and ∞ define the polarities of quantitude. (That word doesn't exist, but you get what I mean.)

With in mind the understanding a circle represents infinity, some choose to represent their love for others with a circle instead of a heart, which geometrically breaks. Interesting, eh? (Although, if you're a pessimist, you might decide a circle also represents 0, to mean you don't love at all...)

Cheers.

Movie "Sucker Punch" ridden with Illuminati mind control symbolism.

Yesterday I read an article my girlfriend showed me about a movie she saw which someone on YouTube pointed out subliminally alluded to the Illuminati's MKUltra Monarch Mind Control. She gave the article a read-over and I did too, and decided it was worthy enough to dedicate a full blog post to.

Here's the link: http://vigilantcitizen.com/moviesandtv/sucker-punch-or-how-to-make-monarch-mind-control-sexy-7-2/

I may place a new focus on the concept of drawn-out explanations of full shows', movies', games', companies' and industries' Illuminati-symbolic meanings. Many of these findings will also be routed to Complete List of Illuminati Symbolism when I find time.

Thanks for reading.

MW3 Infection Sucks: Get rid of throwing knives.

Animal-like speed, senses, reflexes and CQC characteristics are staples of the zombie strategy. Survivors have culturally been known for having ranged weaponry with limited ammunition. What makes the zombie concept fun is assaulting a team in hordes and having the agility to dodge gunfire while quickly closing the gap on your targets, striking too swiftly for them to resist or escape. Survivors meanwhile should focus on how to keep zombies from closing said gaps while conserving ammo and sticking together.

MW3's Infection mode gives zombies throwing knives, which breaks the CQC rule and allows them to take out survivors instantly from a respectable distance. This doesn't pan out well because zombies, being disposable in large numbers, can get an angle on the survivors' holdout and start off every life by pot-shotting with throwing knives until they kill someone - which isn't hard to do at all.

There's not much else to say. Most matches I played in MW3's Infection ended with zombies slaughtering survivors each round; it was hardly a contest. The throwing knives were the problem. In fact, zombies would often chuck their knives right from the outset and kill survivors before they could organize themselves on the other side of the map. This is not how Infection should be played. But why should anyone be surprised? The game mode was a blatant afterthought; the rest of the game was recycled garbage from MW2.

L4D2 got the zombie projectile concept down and functional. Smokers and Spitters couldn't snipe survivors because they required CQC to maximize ranged damage.

Leave Infection mode to the developers that know what they're doing; we'll leave the copy-paste garbage with you, IW.

Arrogant New Ageists

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of very nice and open-minded New Ageists. It's just the ones riding the ego-blimp I can't stand. We can all agree any belief has its members with a mind's eye resembling an asshole sphincter - opening to shit on everyone, and closing to everything inbound. Occasionally they fart out their opinions loudly where they don't belong, and when disdain's publicly expressed in response, Arrogant_Fuckhead01 pretends it wasn't his idea.

Actually though, the stronger-willed ones are what really irritate me, because you can't piss them off, or toy with their emotions, or easily make them walk into their own logical flaws. This often happens with fortunately calm, intelligent people who use both in defense of an unfortunately illogical stance. Just what we need - convincing people expatiating bullshit. No matter what's 'right' about an argument, they always have to put their fuck where their fuck is unwanted by finding everything wrong with everyone else's views but doing the exact opposite with their own - because proactively putting your foot down on others' toes shows them who knows their shit, right? When you corner them, they just kinda stand there, Stonewall Jackson, never admitting defeat (even when they know they're wrong,) and seldom reaching out to understand others' views sincerely. If it can boost their reputation and sustain their zeppelin ego, they'll do it, man - rock out the 16 alternate accounts and make it appear everyone loves you so dearly. It's like they're 12-year-olds using spirituality as an expression of over-inflated self-importance built up by the influence from the anime, videogames and movies they're overexposed to. "I must be cool, calm, and sound like I know what the fuck I'm talking about, because that's what Cloud Strife does, and Master Chief, and all the other cool, important, non-fiction people I look up to."

Don't confuse this with steadfast calmness coming from an open-minded individual who's simply stating their firmest convictions but without the edge of ego. I have the fullest respect for people following this manner, because even if they're wrong, I've been there and know what it's like. As long as you're not being an ego-shit, I'm generally cool with you, you know?

...And this is exactly what chased me off boards like David Icke's Forums and Godlike Productions, eventually settling in YouTube comment sections where I could find the most open-minded people to trade ideas with, ironically. There are assholes there too, but it's more tolerable somehow when each BLAAAHHFUCKYOU comment's contained to 500 characters maximum. Forces them to leave out all the excess expletives that initially added up to some 1500+ characters before they finished ranting.

You know what I think?... Well you might not care, but I'll care so you don't have to, and say it anyway. I think these particular New Ageists are just religious radicalists blinded by this arrogance fueled by self-acknowledging a status as 'awakened to the truth' and above 99% of the world while everyone else is considered 'dumb fucking sheeple', just the way most of them are taught to think. When you question them, they sometimes take this attitude of "Isn't it obvious?" and tell you that's how it is, that's how it is. When you ask them about other matters, you usually get, "Meditate and the answer will arise," and, "You will know when you are meant to." It's absurdly reminiscent to religion and government, never giving you a straight answer and almost always offering an excuse not to concern yourself searching for the answer to your questions, like it'll just happen upon you at some point in the future, so "don't worry, don't bother with it." It's a somewhat euphemistic way of saying you're not in control of your fate. Which I don't buy, and never will. But they act as if it should be a self-evident knockout punch, and if you don't 'get it', clearly you didn't believe hard enough. Otherwise, you may as well go worship the religion of Fuk'Awf.

The nature of weaker-minded spiritualists is noted by frequent runs (like chronic diarrhea) to the nearest website on spirituality to perform routine emotional airstrikes on the 'Spiritual Truth' forum with claims broader than the obese Americans around me as to how reality really works - because they're the world's rightest person for about five minutes, until someone else finishes their 26-paragraph thread, 1,500 characters each, on another seemingly entropic version of reality's workings.

Some New Ageists - or conspiracy theorists, or spiritualists, or religious individuals, or even atheists for that matter - don't seem to understand that echoing extravagant 'truths' about our government or spiritual reality doesn't suddenly, consequently dismiss them from being imprisoned by any of the media-programmed macros in the average human's thought process. But it's that assumption which seems to form the feeling they're incontrovertibly right while maintaining total blindness to the reality of being as much affected as the rest of us. There's no slavery greater than the one convincing us we're free.

Of course, anyone questioning them's obviously a part of the machine and either too blinded to 'get it', or you're hiding yourself from the 'connected dots' and 'sense' of it all to avoid the 'truth' and generate continuity in your 'operations'. I can see this turning into a genocide. I really can.

Seeing how some of these spiritualists exhibit religious behavior sort of leaves me sickened, wanting to go back to eating the media's bullshit than trying to hold hands with spirituality when it's become grounds for crazed self-importance in a world where the imagined possibilities are just too close to reality on our HDTVs despite the boring, limited lives we often live.

I suppose it doesn't matter in the end. It's not like arrogant New Ageists are any worse than violent Muslims and homophobic Christians.

Why Facebook will never have a 'Dislike' button.

I keep seeing people complaining FB needs an Dislike button.

What people don't understand is, a Dislike button would give popular kids within groups of school friends the ability to harass particular, unpopular or misfit kids by stalking their profile and Disliking all of their content. This could potentially result in increased suicide rates, school shootings, blackmail, damaged and severed relationships, general crime and chaos, and parents suing Zuckerberg as a result. Some people build their careers around FB... you can imagine the destructive power of a Dislike button.

FB's better off as it is now, where the absence of Likes indicates fewer people like it, but without the frostbitten statements of disapproval - let alone where everyone can see them.