Sunday, July 22, 2012

If homosexuality's a sin, then...



Of all the things in the world homophobic Christians could be actively working to prevent or reverse, like war, poverty, disease, or corruption, the center-focus of their concerns is usually same-sex relationships - because that kills so many more people, creates so much more suffering, and, fuck it - might destroy the world, too. Don't worry about hydrogen nukes and all that shit - homosexuality's the MOAB of all temporal and ethereal existence. And you just gotta stand back and gape... in complete awe... at the sight of the 'shroom cloud of two men's kiss ebol-izing, corroding and liquefying solid, righteous order into nebulous, abysmal entropy.

When I Googled 'cloud' and 'strife', I wasn't looking for this...
It's a 'shroom cloud, after all, because this variety of Christian must be tripping on acid. Fortunately, I think the only cloud to be worried about right now is the one in their minds.

Meanwhile, Christian science (oxymoron?) apparently made a breakthrough discovery: homosexuality's actually a choice and obesity's really genetic! Well, shit. So obese Christians stuff their faces and tell themselves Jesus didn't want that food to go to someone who's dying without it. "They didn't get the food because- nom, nom - they're sinners." Well shit, why didn't I think of that? Word, right on, H. Christ. Respect, me bredah. (As I was saying about 'shroom clouds...)

I think it'd be pretty awesome to weed out (pun) how they concluded Elvis was the Antichrist back in my father's day, but no, wait - then Judas Priest, he's the-... waaaiit, shit, shit, now it's Marilyn Manson... no... no, fuck me, it's actually Eminem!... God screwed up, sorry. But it was intentional, a Perfect Mistake without mistakes... so don't yeh judge. Only thou... thy... thus... fuck it, whatever - themsomes Lord may judge, you're not allowed to do that, silly.

In the meantime, let's talk about some hard, proven facts Creationist science has uncovered over the past generation, starting with this olde-timer: "Damn blacks are blacks because they choose to be!" < Christianity 60 years ago. Since then, God apparently decided He made another Perfect Mistake, so now He's cool with blacks. Unfortunately, gays are about four decades behind that step up, when they too finally can be born gay not as a choice, but as a forced genetic characteristic - and what a relief that will be. Until then, Creationist science has proven it is a choice. And don't you dare question us, lest ye burn eternal.

Fuck it.

I wonder; what are homophobic Christians going to do if they go to Hell and discover they were the wrong ones? "Well, shit."

Some Christians think being gay is outright unforgivable by any means. I ask them, what are gays supposed to do when they discover they're nonredeemable? "Well, shit. Better prepare for an eternity in Hell, guys." And they should be happy, right? Because it's all part of... God's Perfect Plan. People don't die for reasons, they die for really good excuses! And you learn the trade real quick: they all go to Hell. Makes God's paperwork easier. "He died b-because... uhm... he must've been a closet homosexual, or something. Whatever, he's probably going to Hell because of it."

Here's the one that gets me best... You see, God's alright with Christians murdering in the name of God, and God's alright with heterosexuals committing an unending stream of extremely violent and emotionally-virulent crimes over the course of a lifetime with a plea to Jesus for redemption in their dying breath... "Oh, it's alright, we forgive you, man. Come on up to Heaven!" ...But we must all remember, a Good-Samaritan gay Christian will always be condemned. Soon I'll get a comment on this post saying, "You can't be Christian if you're gay!" Well, shit. I thought you could be. But if gays can't be Christian, I can be sure of one thing - faggots can, and you're the poster-child for it. "Yes we can (persecute whoever we want because our version of the Bible says it's alright!)"

One thing these Christians forget... is the purpose of punishment. But I guess that doesn't matter when Perfect God realizes he was Perfectly Wrong and arbitrarily changes the point of punishment into something that fits His Perfect Plan perfectly. "Oh, you mean we don't punish people to teach them right from wrong? Well, shit."

I can see Jesus meeting a gay at the pearly gates: "Look man, you're a cool guy and all, and a great example of a good human being, assisting the unfortunate and helping orphanages and all... but we can't allow a spirit who inhabited a body predisposed to homosexual genetic coding. I'm sorry, man. You're being sent off to the flames for eternity and that's all I can say. But remember... God does it because HE LOVES YOU."

HE LOVES YOU.

...Well, shit. I'll keep that in mind and burn my girlfriend alive because... I love her. Eh? "Oh, you're hetero? Damn, I thought you were gay all this time. You know you're always welcome in Heaven if you repent now..." No thanks, I'd rather burn in Hell than revel in a Heaven with a God so cruel as yours. But, you know, thanks for the invitation. (I hate getting those things in the mail.)

After all, if homosexuality's sinful, so are infants born with terminal congenital diseases. We should leave the poor things to die an excruciating death and that agony will continue with an eternity in Hell. Google 'depleted uranium' (because I'm not putting those kinds of pictures on here) - those babies are destined for the flames. That's fair, isn't it?

See? Even '60s Spiderman in his blue spidey-tighties agrees it all 'makes sense'.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Zero = Infinity.













An interesting realization I made recently.



Zero - the placeholder word and number for the idea of nothing - is the inverse of infinity, but also the same.

No matter how large you make a number, it isn't infinity... No matter how small you make a number, it isn't zero. How many digits to the right of the decimal do you need before that '1' no longer bars the value from 'zero'?... That's right, you can't quantify it. It goes on forever. Infinitely. Just as you can go on infinitely to the left of the decimal - and never reach 'infinity'. Zero and infinity are just placeholders for an infinite number of digits to the right and left of the decimal, respectively.

While you wrap your head around that, here's a cool find: ∞ is just a twisted 0. See that? Take the 0, and twist the side - you get ∞.

Since zero and infinity are the same concept as inverse concepts, this means zero and infinity together can be described as a circle - which is what zero and infinity are signified with, just elongated and twisted, respectively. A circle is also infinite, never breaking at any point. Infinity and zero start at the same point on one end and meet at the same point on the opposite side - inverse, but the same, simply describing a different polarity.

Everything works on a duality; 0 and ∞ define the polarities of quantitude. (That word doesn't exist, but you get what I mean.)

With in mind the understanding a circle represents infinity, some choose to represent their love for others with a circle instead of a heart, which geometrically breaks. Interesting, eh? (Although, if you're a pessimist, you might decide a circle also represents 0, to mean you don't love at all...)

Cheers.