Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Energy drinks: not as bad for you as people say.


This was my favorite Amp. But Amp sucks now, ever since they changed over the product line...
Every article fighting energy drinks that I read, I stop reading. And then I laugh. I put my Milestone X2 down on the table, and laugh. "What is this shit? These aren't reasons."

The 'reasons' - wait, let's find a better word... excuses, are the same among most articles, and the exceptions are just as ridiculous still. The editors of these articles cross me as an older generation that never adapted to energy drinks replacing coffee in the newer generation, and advise against them because "Too much sugar," and "Too much caffeine," and "People die from drinking those, you know!" I don't think any of them are substantiated any further than any argument against coffee and soda, because honestly, an energy drink's really just a mixture of the two with a little less sugar and caffeine, and some natural herbs added as additional stimulants. All it does is beg a little more responsibility.

Soda contains roughly the same amount of sugar ounce-for-ounce as an energy drink, sometimes more, and an 8oz cup of coffee has about 100mg on average, while the same amount as an energy drink has around 80mg on average. Yet people argue the caffeine content of energy drinks is 'dangerously high' and thus should be avoided at all costs. This is used to substantiate claims these drinks are responsible for young adults experiencing heart failure - well, after drinking four in a three-hour span, or several throughout a day. Because, who the fuck drinks that many in three hours, anyway?

Yes, energy drinks have additional stimulants, and they're more powerful than coffee because of it; you don't treat them like coffee, because they're not, hence the price of a can of it versus a cup of arabica dark roast. There's a reason these drinks are targeted at adults; treat them responsibly like adults and you won't suffer cardiac arrest. ("Drink responsibly," eh.) Just one Rockstar - one - taken in time-moderated sips will carry you an entire day without the stereotypical synaptic what-the-fucks they're commonly portrayed to catalyze. This actually justifies the sugar and caffeine content, since most people drink multiple sodas or cups of coffee in a day for their kick, while a single energy drink alone is enough.

A little Google research turned up many of the common herbs and stimulants used in energy drinks, like taurine, ginseng and milk thistle, are harmless to the body taken in moderated doses (and in fact, beneficial even,) and in excess the worst they may cause is discomfort and maybe a kidney infection if you really overdo it - at which point, the caffeine would've killed you anyway, if Rockstar's your method of overdose. Speaking of which, another reason given in another article stated something I thought was profoundly innovative: they can kill you if they aren't consumed in moderation! People've died from drinking too much water (upsets electrolytes,) so let's not drink any at all, right?

Meanwhile, as energy drinks are criticized like illicit drugs, the authors of these articles are typing them up while downing cups of pesticide- and toxin-laced coffee, six-pack sodas with zero nutritional benefit, cartons of cancer-thins, and maybe cheap 2/3rds beers later in the evening. Don't you know alcohol kills? Put the fucking Heineken down, it tastes like alpaca urine anyway, and don't ask how I'd know.

Let's face it: no matter how well-groomed your body is, it's gonna die one day, for all of us.

If you want to know of an energy formula that's 'bad' for you, enter 5-Hour Energy, and each of its brand-name mimics in its variegated flowery bush. I've had heart issues with those, and my dad feels like he's having an OBE after downing one. So stay away from them.

So I'd be interested to know, what energy drinks do you all drink, how often, what brand and flavor, and with what effects?

Sunday, August 12, 2012

It's cool to joke about the Holocaust, but not 9/11?



I'm not offended by jokes, because that's what they are - jokes. Jokes aren't meant to be taken seriously. If you're taking them with a 525mg dose of Buttmad, you're mixing your meds wrong.

But really, this could be after all what started the Holocaust - someone cracked a joke about Jews and Hitler thought his bud was being serious. Of course, we all joke about the Lolocaust now, but man... you bring up 9/11 and every obese mid-thirties Christian single mom of three-and-a-half will definitely find a means, a way, and a fate to push out a pound-cake baby of red, white and blue shit. They'll need a jackhammer to C-section them, that's how thick they are. (Pun pun punnnnn...)

"How DARE you!1 1! >:'( FUCK YOU, I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELLLLLLLLLLL!..."... Moves onto another picture in their News Feed, what's this, a Holocaust joke? "lololol im snding ths 2 al1 mai frndz :)"

Let's be realistic. Ten million humans - you know, people with feelings and aspirations, and loved ones, like you and me - brutally annihilated in the Holocaust, infants having been flung into infernos and innocents subjected to excruciating experiments, most of all Nova6 gassing - a world-shattering event spanning years of suffering... versus a few thousand in a few hours on 9/11, most dying mercifully. Yet, Americans can laugh at the former, but not the latter, because it's just plane wrong.

Who's morally upright now?

The only grasp we Americans have of the Holocaust is how the textbooks tell it, and it wasn't even on our soil, let alone 70 years ago. Hell, people speculate it never even happened. But if you went to Germany and burned a Jew with a Holocaust joke, I'm placing wagers right now that a few of them might be fuhrious, Anne Frankly they won't tolerate it. Can you blame them?

Juuuuuust something to think about.

Withholding contraceptives from kids advised against pregnancy...



I thought it was ironic when I realized this, how true it is, that parents teach kids to use contraceptives, then confiscate them or bar access to them because they 'promote sex' in a young audience that's hopelessly discouraged from having it, which begs to ask why parents are removing their own child from their own recommendation. Parents should know the efforts are fruitless: when we want sex, we'll have it, and if we're barred from contraceptive merchandise, we'll resort to our own: pull-out, which has been a successful method... of becoming parents, for five of my friends.

Granted, kids will have sex behind their parents' backs, and should also be expected to procure contraceptives in similar fashion, often successfully so if they're out with friends at a convenience store. But that's not the point here.

Point is, if you want to prevent teenage pregnancy, you're doing it wrong. I don't need to mention what we should do: use your own head and find something that works for your particular child. But whatever you do, contraceptives shouldn't be contraband.